I have had a Senior’s Card for awhile now. All it really does is announce that I am over sixty and that I am entitled to cheaper public transport.

As the ticket officer looks suspiciously at my leggins, gothic inspired boots and short skirt, wanting more proof that I am really over 60, I clutch my senior’s card  and momentarily ponder upon the image I should be projecting now.

A bit of a search on the net found this timely advice.

Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

  1. A nose ring and bifocals
  2. Spiked hair and bald spots
  3. A pierced tongue and dentures
  4. Mini skirts and support hose
  5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
  6. Speedo’s and cellulite
  7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
  8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
  9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
  10. Bikinis and liver spots
  11. Short shorts and varicose veins
  12. Inline skates and a walker –
    And last, but not least:
  13. Thongs and Depends

I cannot say I have had an urge to wear an unbuttoned disco shirt or short shorts but I suppose it is good to have some boundaries. Perhaps some of those more enlightened souls out there might help provide some balance and direct me by providing  some advice about dress code for my senior years.


9 responses to “Heeee..lp”

  1. Sally says :

    Wear whatever the hell you want! It couldn’t be as bad as some of the kids I see. How about no hot pants, mini skirts, midriff or bellybutton bearing shirts, see thru clothes, or bikinis.

  2. Pelican1 says :

    I concur regarding the cellulite and skimpy underwear…. oh and a belly button ring could possibly get lost in the folds of a belly roll……

  3. Pelican1 says :

    PS: That’s wonderful that you are being carded for being too young-looking…. yesterday someone asked me if I was going to retire soon…. um, in about 15 years!

  4. woodnymph says :

    I really got a laugh out of the do’s and don’ts. I’m with Sally, Wear whatever the hell you want. Living in the desert as we do in this part of Arizona, everyone wears shorts most of the time. Granted I do not go for the real short ones, nor to I go for rings in places other than one on my finger and earrings. And remember, Heather, having reached senior status, you’ve earned the right to be yourself.


  5. thalia says :

    I really enjoyed reading this list. Fortunately, we come to a time when we do not feel compelled to follow the rules of society. For those who choose to really see us, we are far more than we look.

  6. traveller2006 says :

    I’m 58 and can still occasionally be seen sporting stilettos, so go for whatever takes your fancy! purple hat anybody

  7. Pelican1 says :

    There actually is an organization called “The Red Hat Society”: http://www.redhatsociety.com/index.aspx

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